It's in the Cards

Before going to my reading yesterday Paterson and I got lunch at New Seasons. He said, "What if they tell you that I'm going to kill you?" I laughed and he said, "They might ask if you've seen the movie 'Sleeping with the Enemy.'"

I then thought wouldn't it be amazing that if instead of mythical creatures on cards, like "witch of the woods," "earth dragon," or "forgiveness fairy," they had tarot cards that had movies on them and depending on how the cards were drawn or laid out that is how your life was going to go.

So imagine Paterson was really going to kill me, during a "movie card" reading I might draw the "Sleeping with the Enemy" card. And my future would be told: I'd have to teach myself how to swim secretly to fake my own death only to be looking over my shoulder constantly and be crippled in terms of creating new relationships. And then I would kill Paterson, thus freeing myself. That's how the movie ends, right?

I just remembered that the one other time in my life I had a tarot reading was when I was living in LA. My ex-roommate did it. She was really into shit like that. She had this dresser she'd painted purple then stenciled suns and moons all over it. She had a mosquito netting over her bed, for style not function. Going into her room was like entering some kind of new age lair. She was always reading self-help books and she really loved tuna noodle casserole. When you read tarot cards you have to have a question you are asking so I asked what was going to happen on my impending road trip to Oregon. The cards said I was going to deflower a virgin. I didn't deflower a virgin but I did, while drunk, make out with a good male friend of mine. Between sloppy, drunk kisses I kept insisting, "It's in the cards. It's in the cards."